


Bringing Up Gus

by ebbj9891



Series: In Quest Of Something [73]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, M/M, POV Brian Kinney, POV Gus (Queer as Folk), POV Justin Taylor, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-11 15:09:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3330479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebbj9891/pseuds/ebbj9891
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raising Gus has been quite an experience for Brian and Justin. There are countless memories that have been made over the years, but four in particular stand out. This fic will explore these four moments in time, which feature Gus at age five, ten, fifteen, and twenty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five

**_"Daddy,_** I can't take it anymore!" Gus hollers, throwing himself across Brian's legs and laying there in a devastated heap. "Make her stop crying!"

 _Would that I could,_ Brian thinks miserably as he tries to soothe his distraught son by stroking his hair. It doesn't accomplish much - Gus is too far gone for mere hair-stroking to be of any use. They probably have scarce few minutes left before his tantrum explodes into a full-blown meltdown.

It started two hours ago, when they were leaving the movies. Brian thinks back fondly to that time - a simpler time - when they were both giddy from their time together at the movies, which was primarily spent cuddling and feasting on popcorn. Brian barely paid attention to the movie itself; he was too happy about having Gus back in Pittsburgh for the weekend and having him all to himself all Friday afternoon. After a month apart, getting to spend all that time one-on-one with each other was bliss. Even better - Justin was supposed to be meeting them in the lobby after the movie, fresh off a flight from New York. 

But then disaster struck: as they ventured out into the lobby, Justin was nowhere to be found. After searching the area thoroughly, Brian realised that something was amiss. Upon checking his phone, he found that he'd missed three calls from Justin. There were also a string of text messages full of apologies and explanations. With fog hanging over JFK, Justin's flight had been delayed by over two hours. He wouldn't be in Pittsburgh until seven.

As soon as Brian began explaining this to Gus, the mood plummeted. First, there was pouting. Then, some very dramatic foot-stomping. And finally - the  _coup de grace_  - Gus grabbed the tub of popcorn from Brian, dumped it on the floor, and then proceeded to scream the building down.

The walk through the lobby was awful enough, what with everyone staring at them and all. Though Brian tried to ignore it, the pitying looks thrown his way were utterly infuriating. It only got worse from there. The car ride to Ben and Michael's was unbelievably stressful. For twenty minutes straight, Gus sat balled up in his seat, sobbing into the palms of his hands and whinging about wanting to see Justin. Brian tried talking to him and attempted launching a countdown until Justin's arrival, but Gus was having none of it. The one hope that Brian had to cling to was that Lindsay and Melanie would be waiting for them at Ben and Michael's, and surely they would know some miracle cure for Gus' moody spell.

Sadly, upon arriving at Ben and Michael's, things deteriorated even more radically. After hastily carrying a wailing Gus inside, Brian found that Lindsay and Melanie were totally preoccupied by a wailing J.R.

This didn't please Gus at all. With Justin missing, his baby sister bawling, and his mothers totally distracted, he descended into an even more hideous mood. And it hasn't lifted since. Despite Brian's many attempts - and valiant ones at that - Gus has proven inconsolable. J.R., too. And there's nowhere to run! They're all seated around the dinner table, awaiting Justin's arrival, listening to Gus and J.R. scream and holler at the top of their lungs.

"She's teething, Gus," Michael says with wafer-thin patience. "She can't help it. Her mouth hurts."

"My ears hurt!" Gus retorts hotly. Since he's not getting any sympathy from Michael, he rolls over and pouts up at Brian. "Daddy,  _my ears hurt."_

"I know, Sonny Boy," Brian murmurs, but apparently this response doesn't cut it with Gus. He whines and slides off Brian's lap and onto the floor. 

"No lying on the floor," Mel says tersely, reaching for her drink. "Gus, get up."

Gus groans and picks himself up, flailing his limbs dramatically. "That dumb baby never shuts up!"

"Gus," Lindsay warns tiredly.

"That's inappropriate," Michael scolds.

"It's the truth," Gus mutters, slumping into his seat. "She never shuts up and she hurts my ears all day long."

As if on cue, J.R. starts screaming even louder. Gus covers his ears and starts to weep. 

"Okay," Ben says, standing up. "Why don't I take J.R. upstairs for a while?"

"Thank you," Lindsay sighs, handing the baby over without a moment's pause.

Concerned by his son's distress, Brian starts to reach for Gus. Michael clears his throat. It's a most familiar sound. Lately, Michael and Ben have been on a real parenting kick. They're rarely seen without some drippy parenting book in their hands, and as if that weren't bad enough, they're both ever so eager to share their wisdom with anyone who will listen. Brian has tried to remove himself from that category, but as Michael's best friend and co-parent of sorts, it hasn't been easy. Michael is downright obsessed with dragging Brian aboard the know-it-all-parent train.

Sensing another onslaught of sanctimonious advice, Brian takes a deep breath, steels himself, then asks, "Yes, Mikey?"

"You're not supposed to indulge them when they're sooking," Michael advises sagely, raising his eyebrows at Gus meaningfully.

"Really?" Brian asks with exaggerated intrigue. "That's a good tip, Mikey! I'll be sure to pass it on to Deb first thing tomorrow."

Bristling, Michael yelps, "Hey!"

"Brian," Lindsay scolds wearily. "Can you not?" 

"Don't you two start," Mel warns solemnly (although Brian could have sworn he saw her biting back a laugh only seconds ago). "It's bad enough having two screaming children. Let's not double that count."

Fortunately, the count seems to be going down. With J.R. out of sight and earshot, and hence out of mind, Gus is calmer. His sobs reduce to sniffles and he seems to be doing his best to wipe his tears away. Once his face is dry, he grabs Brian by the wrist and pleads, "Show me when Jus will be here."

"Here," Brian says, pointing to the seven. "That's where the little hand needs to be. See how close it is?"

"Not close enough," Gus whimpers, his eyes filling with a fresh batch of tears. "I miss Jus!"

"C'mere, Sonny Boy," Brian says, pulling the kid into his arms. He ignores the disapproving look from Michael and focuses on hugging Gus. Maybe Gus is sooking, maybe he isn't - Brian doesn't give a shit. He only wants to make the poor kid feel better. After tidying Gus' mop of hair and kissing his cheek, Brian promises soothingly, "Justin will be here soon."

Brian's attempts seem to work. Gus stops his alleged 'sooking' and cuddles up to Brian, latching on like a little monkey. Brian smiles and squeezes his bundle of Gus closer. He stubbornly ignores the persistent staring from his  _darling_  co-parents and gives all his focus to Gus.

"I miss Jus so much," Gus laments, pressing his wet face into Brian's shoulder. "I never see him anymore. It's the worst thing in the whole entire world!"

Suddenly, Mel snorts. That grabs Brian's attention. As he looks up, he catches her stifling a laugh again. She's doing a piss-poor job of it - her shoulders are trembling and her lips are quirking. Mel turns to Michael and Lindsay and asks not-so-surrepticiously, "Does Gus remind you of anybody right now?"

"The resemblance is uncanny," Michael teases, grinning.

Lindsay frowns and swats at them. "Stop it, you two."

Though she means well, Brian is more pissed off by her pitying look than by the mockery. Whilst scooping Gus up, he imparts coolly, "Sonny Boy and I are going for a walk. Excuse us."

He ignores their protests and marches outside with Gus bundled in his arms. As Gus cozies into him, Brian whispers, "This way, we'll see Sunshine sooner. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," Gus mumbles.

"Won't be long now," Brian promises. He squeezes Gus close and watches each and every car that passes, hoping one will slow down and prove to be Justin's cab. Meanwhile, Gus stops crying and refocuses his energy on snuggling into Brian. It's one of the happiest feelings in the world - having Gus so close, with his arms and legs wound around Brian in a clinging fashion. Brian worries sometimes - well, all the time, really - about Gus being so far away and what it will mean for them. This makes it all seem okay again - Gus hasn't forgotten him. He still needs him. He still loves him. 

Brian closes his eyes for a moment as he strains to commit this to memory. He envisages branding it into his consciousness, so the knowledge that his son still belongs to him is scorched and scarred irrevocably in his mind.

When he opens his eyes, it's to headlights washing over him and Gus. Brian heaves a sigh of relief - Justin is here.

"Sonny Boy," he whispers as he rocks Gus back and forth, "Guess who's here?"

Gus gasps with excitement and wriggles around. When he catches sight of Justin jumping out of the cab, he squeals elatedly. "Jus!"

Then he's out of Brian's arms like a shot and bolting towards Justin. Brian looks on silently as Justin greets Gus with equal fervor, gathering him up in an adoring embrace. Then he hits Brian with a dazzling grin. That's all it takes for Brian to move in and close the distance between them. He strides forward and envelops both of them in a massive hug - Gus in Justin's arms, Justin in his. Brian presses a kiss to Justin's brow and whispers, "Hey."

"Hey, yourself," Justin murmurs back.

"Hi," Gus squeaks from in between them. "You two are hugging kind of hard."

"Sorry!" Justin darts back a little. "You okay, Gussy?"

"M'okay," Gus mumbles. "You don't have to stop."

Brian reaches out and pulls Justin in close again, only a little more gently this time. Justin sighs contentedly and burrows in close. As Brian presses a kiss to the top of Gus' head, and then another to Justin's temple, he tries to commit this moment to memory: his two favourite people, finally within reach, safely wrapped up in his arms. There's no other feeling in the world quite as wonderful as this one.

*

From that point forward, the mood ascends. Gus returns to the dinner table in high spirits and even gives a cuddle and a kiss to J.R., who has happily joined Ben in being zen. She gurgles as Gus tickles her; it almost seems like they're resolving to call a truce. Once Gus has accepted a high-five from Ben, he latches back onto Justin and drags him away from the embraces of Michael and the munchers.

"We're sitting together, Jus," Gus insists, pointing to the chair next to Brian.

Mel tuts and says, "Gus, let Justin have his own seat."

"It's okay," Justin says, smiling at her winningly. "He can sit with me. Come here, Gussy."

Brian watches as Justin sits down and gathers Gus into his lap. The smiles on their faces are dazzling. They only continue to grow as they prepare a shared plate, each of them taking turns to fill it. Gus is keen on the pasta, potatoes, and bread rolls, while Justin cleverly chooses a good spread of vegetables. This earns him very approving looks from the resident parenting experts, Michael and Ben, and some adoring praise from Mel and Linds, who frequently have to go to battle with Gus to get him to eat his veggies.

It doesn't surprise Brian in the slightest to see Justin winning Gus over so easily. While Mel and Linds seem staggered when he gets Gus to eat a piece of broccoli (Gus' most loathed vegetable by far), Brian isn't fazed. Justin has always had a way with Gus. No, it's not surprising at all - it is quite spellbinding, though. Brian barely eats half of his dinner; he's too busy stealing glances at Justin and Gus, cuddling, laughing, and feeding each other bites of their meal.

Brian watches them, soaks up the sight, and tries to forget that it's all ending come Monday morning. He doesn't want to think about what it will be like saying goodbye to both of them at the airport. He doesn't want to admit that having them fly off in different directions will tear him in two. So he denies all of that, pushes the thoughts to the farthest corner of his mind, and listens contentedly as Gus tells Justin all about his plans for their slumber party at the loft.

*

Much later, when they're all back at the loft, Brian focuses on getting Gus ready for bed. According to Mel and Linds, he's been having trouble sleeping ever since they moved away. Brian does all that he can to remedy Gus' evident anxieties. He presents him with a brand new pair of pyjamas ("Pittsburgh pyjamas," Gus coins them excitedly), settles Gus into bed, and happily takes orders about who's sleeping where ("Justin goes over there and you go over here," Gus commands somberly). Then Brian lies with him for a while, holding his hand and stroking his hair as Gus starts to doze off.

In a little voice that's wilting with fatigue, Gus asks, "Are you and Jus gonna sleep soon?"

"We'll come to bed soon," Brian vows softly as he tucks Gus in, "I promise."

"Okay, Daddy," Gus yawns. "Night night. I love you very much."

"I love you very much," Brian echoes, right before he kisses Gus' cheek. "Sleep tight, kiddo."

"I will."

Brian waits for a moment or two and watches Gus slip right off to sleep. He lingers for a moment, studying Gus' familiar features. Then, once Brian is sure that Gus is sound asleep, he slips out of bed and goes to find Justin.

He finds him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and staring into space. Brian approaches him warily and takes the spot next to him. "Sorry about this."

"Don't be," Justin urges, leaning into him. "It's so good to see him again. I only wish I hadn't upset him."

"You couldn't help being late. Anyway, it's not even about that. He's been emotional ever since the move." Brian tries to remove the trace elements of bitterness from his voice, but it doesn't really work. Even if it did, Justin would likely see straight through him anyhow. "He's not used to not being here."

Justin's smile warps from fond to strained in an instant. He ducks his head slightly and admits, "I know the feeling."

Brian reaches out and strokes his hand from the nape of Justin's neck, down between his shoulder-blades, then back up again. Justin sighs and turns towards him, then folds himself into Brian's arms.

"Thanks for flying me home," Justin whispers. "I've missed it here."

"Any time," Brian promises. "You want to be here, you want me to be there... just say so, and it's done."

"Mmmm." Justin nuzzles into Brian's neck. "Bedtime?"

"Bedtime," Brian agrees.

He takes Justin's hand in his and is about to lead him into the bedroom, when Justin stops him and says softly, "Aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?"

Brian smirks. After three weeks apart, he's going to give this all he's got. He loops an arm around Justin's waist, sweeps him in so close that they're flush to one another, and kisses him senseless.

It almost makes up for being apart for so long. Almost.

When he finally releases Justin, he's met with yet another sparkling smile. Brian grins back, grasps Justin's hand again, and leads the way to bed. As they slip in on either side of Gus, as instructed, Brian reaches to turn out the light. When it clicks off, Gus stirs, then starts as though he's frightened. Justin reaches over to stroke Gus' hair soothingly, in the same way Brian had been doing earlier.

"It's okay, Gussy," Justin whispers. "Go back to sleep, okay?"

"Okay," Gus agrees, yawning. "Night, Jus. Love you."

Justin grins big. "Love you, too."

Brian watches as Gus huddles in towards Justin. There's a pleasant tug in his chest; it starts small, but as Justin drops a tender kiss to Gus' forehead, it sprawls through Brian until it's all-consuming. He can't take his eyes off the two of them. He daren't. As he watches them drift off to sleep, Brian eases closer to the two of them and whispers, "Love you both."

Then, with those words burning bright within him and his two favourite people cuddled up beside him, Brian closes his eyes and joins them in sleep.


	2. Ten

"This is the greatest day of my life," Ruby says glowingly as she admires herself in the mirror that Justin is holding up. "You're the best artist ever!"

"Thanks, Ruby," Justin says, laughing. So apparently he can add face-painting to his creative skillset. Quite honestly, it's an unexpected coup. When Linds asked him to man the face-painting station at Gus' birthday party, Justin wasn't really sure that he was right for the job. Painting kids' faces is certainly not something he's accustomed to, plus the guidebook Linds gave him was mind-numbingly cheesy. But for Gus' sake, Justin decided to give it a go and make it his own. He splashed out on a huge face-painting kit and spent a solid week drawing up designs that weren't cutesy or cliché. It's turned out quite well - Justin has enjoyed himself and all of Gus' friends are thrilled with their freshly painted faces. 

Ruby is perhaps the most thrilled by far. Still gazing happily into the mirror, she touches the red paint gingerly and giggles. "This is so awesome! I'm a  _dragon!"_

Justin grins at her. "I take it you like it?"

"I love it!" Ruby throws her arms around him quickly, then bolts off towards the bouncy castle. "I have to show Gus!"

Since Ruby is the last of the kids, Justin leans back and takes a moment to relax. Gus' birthday party has been a massive success so far. Since it's his tenth ("My double digit day," Gus has been boasting to anyone who will listen), it was agreed that it should be a big event. And so Mel and Linds have transformed their house and backyard into a party paradise. There's a bouncy castle at the bottom of the garden, games galore, and mountains of food spread out everywhere. Everyone seems to be having a great time. Justin decides it's time to ditch his station and go and join the fun. He begins packing up the kit, when suddenly, two strong arms snake around his shoulders.

"Hey," Brian murmurs in his ear. Justin smiles and leans back into the embrace. As Brian starts kissing his neck, Justin abandons his plans for joining the rest of the party. There's much more fun to be had here.

As he silently schemes, Justin smiles innocently at Brian and asks, "How's the birthday boy?" 

Brian sighs and stalks over to the chair next to Justin's. As he collapses into it, he huffs, "I love him to bits, but I'm fucking exhausted. This isn't a party; it's a goddamned marathon."

Laughing, Justin moves from his chair into Brian's lap. He's been keeping an eye on Brian in between painting faces; Gus has been dragging him around on a non-stop tour of party central, making Brian participate in all manner of activities. Justin slips an arm around Brian and pulls him close for a kiss. It very quickly turns into a full-on make-out session, at least until Mel passes by and warns, "There are innocent children present. Don't make me separate the two of you."

Feigning a heartbroken sigh, Justin puts a stop to the make-out session. He smiles at Brian and asks sweetly, "However will we pass the time now?"

"We could abscond elsewhere," Brian suggests with a devilish grin. "There aren't any kiddies upstairs."

"Or..." Justin reaches for his paintbrush and twirls it between his fingers. 

"No," Brian says immediately. He makes a grab for the paintbrush but Justin yanks it out of reach.

"Please?" Justin offers Brian his most dazzling smile. "It'll be fun."

"Let's see..." Brian pauses, narrows his eyes at Justin, and says frostily, " _Fuck_ no."

"Please, Bri? Pretty please?" Justin swoops in and starts kissing Brian's neck. "You'll love it, I promise."

Brian shakes his head and refuses firmly, "I am not letting you paint my face."

"You've let me paint you before," Justin reminds him, waggling his eyebrows. He can see a smirk starting to form on Brian's face. "You remember how fun  _that_ was, right?"

After clearing his throat, Brian says stubbornly, "That was different."

"Come on. I'll make it worth your while." Justin takes the paintbrush and trails it down Brian's chest in a long, soft stroke. "I'll let you do anything you want to me."

Snorting, Brian retorts, "You  _always_ let me do anything I want to you. You're incredibly easy, you know that?"

Rather affronted, Justin protests, "I am not!" 

Brian merely raises his eyebrows dubiously. After thinking it over for a moment, Justin concedes, "Okay, fine... but so are you."

"I'm well aware," Brian laughs. He places one hand on the small of Justin's back and the other on his upper thigh. As he starts caressing both areas teasingly, he suggests in a lust-laced tone, "Why don't we go upstairs and have some fun with that?"

"Later," Justin says dismissively. "First, let's have some fun right here."

Justin lunges in and attempts to tickle Brian with the soft bristles. Unfortunately, Brian is too quick; he manages to duck and weave away. Wrinkling his nose, he snarks, "Did you miss my resounding 'fuck no'?"

"I heard it." Justin shrugs and grins. "I interpreted it less as a 'fuck no' and more of a starting point for a negotiation. Come on, I wanna paint you!"

"Dad, let him!" Gus shouts. Justin almost leaps skyward with fright - how does Gus do that?! He has a terrifying talent for appearing out of nowhere. Even more terrifying is how seriously hyped up on sugar he is. It's so intense that Gus is practically vibrating with sugary energy. Excitedly, he grabs the face-painting kit and wields it at Brian. "Look how cool it is! There's glitter and everything. Let Jus paint your face, it would be the best!"

Now that he's recovered from his mild heart attack, Justin is warming up to Gus' sudden appearance. It might actually prove quite useful. Intrigued by this development, he glances at Brian. It's clear his resistance is starting to diminish (he does hate to say no to Gus, after all). Justin takes this opportunity to move in for the kill. "It is Gus' birthday, you know. What he says goes."

"That's right!" Gus yelps, beaming. He runs around them, almost rabid with sugar-induced excitement. As he laps them, he enthuses, "I'm the birthday boy, I'm double digits, and you have to do as I say!"

Then he stops and plonks down on the grass. As he crosses his legs and folds his arms together, Gus says brightly, "Plus, it's a special day for you guys!"

"Of course it is, Sonny Boy." Brian smiles adoringly at him. "Ten years old. It's a very special day indeed."

"No," Gus says, frowning and shaking his head. "Not that."

Brian looks at Justin cluelessly. Justin shrugs and looks at Gus blankly. Gus gawks back at both of them and says slowly, "Um, it's your ten year anniversary?"

"Oh!" Justin glances at Brian, who is so clearly trying to stifle a laugh. "Uh, so it is."

Gus stares at them in pure bewilderment. "You guys remembered, right? You're always rambling on about how you met when I was born."

"We don't 'ramble on'," Brian says tersely.

"Yeah," Justin agrees. "And of course we remembered!"

But Gus isn't convinced nor is he fooled. He rolls his eyes at Brian and then narrows them at Justin. "Uh, Jus? You shouldn't lie to your son. Especially not on his birthday."

Then, with heightened intensity, he demands, "Did you or did you not remember your anniversary?"

After sharing a glance, Justin and Brian admit in somewhat abashed unison, "Not."

Gus closes his eyes, sighs, and pinches the bridge of his nose. In a tense tone that seems beyond his mere ten years, he laments, "What is the  _matter_ with you two?"

Justin chuckles and admits, "We're not really the anniversary type, Gussy."

Gus peers at them curiously, then lets out a huge long-suffering sigh. "You guys are so weird.  _So_ weird."

Then he hauls himself up and mutters, "I need a cupcake."

As he stomps off, Justin turns to Brian and pokes him squarely in the chest. "So."

Brian looks back at him blankly. "So?"

"I know we're not the anniversary type, but ten years is... well, it's ten years."

As a soft smile illuminates his face, Brian replies tenderly, "That it is."

Justin steals a quick kiss (only a quick one, since he's sure that Mel is still keeping a close watch) and slips his arms around Brian's neck. As he leans in and grazes his lips over Brian's earlobe, Justin whispers, "You're a wonderful partner."

At that, Brian's soft smile begins to grow. Justin has to stop himself from laughing - Brian is so clearly trying not to preen and it's really quite adorable. Feigning detatchment, Brian drawls, "Words I never thought I'd hear."

"They're incredibly well-deserved," Justin says quietly, before drawing Brian in for another kiss. He doesn't cut this one quite as short; he figures if Mel makes a reappearance, he can play the anniversary card. That oughta do the trick.

"Okay," Gus bellows, marching back towards them.  Apparently unaware that he's almost scared Justin half to death again, Gus folds his arms over his chest and commands bossily, "You're going to give each other gifts."

In inadvertent unison, Justin and Brian query, "We're going to  _what?"_

As soon as he realises they've spoken simultaneously, Justin beams at Brian and kisses him. Brian shakes his head, but his attempt to look unimpressed is seriously threatened by the smile tugging at his lips.

"You're going to give each other gifts," Gus repeats, staring down his nose at Brian. "That's what I've decided. You weirdos don't have to get married, or send each other Valentines, or write each other sonnets or whatever. But today is your  _tenth anniversary._ You have to give each other something."

Following a weary sigh, Brian asks, "And what exactly are we going to give each other?"

Gus takes a moment to think it over. He paces around them in thoughtful silence, going faster and faster with each lap. Justin's pet theory is that continuous movement is an imperative given the amount of sugar buzzing through Gus' system. As such, it's not too long until Gus has his eureka moment. He screeches to a halt and rounds on them with determination gleaming in his eyes.

"You," Gus points at Justin, "Are going to paint dad's face. And you," Gus points at Brian, "Are going to let him."

"Sounds good to me!" Justin grins at Brian. "How does it sound to you,  _sweetness?"_

With a broody scowl, Brian retorts snarkily, "Oh, just dandy,  _buttercup."_

"On one condition!" Gus yelps, clearly still high as a kite. "I get to decide what Justin paints."

"Oh, joy," Brian teases, smirking.

Gus ignores him and seizes Justin's arm. "Jus, listen in."

Justin leans in and listens as Gus whispers in his ear. He grins as an image begins to form in his mind. Once Gus has finished instructing him, Justin reaches for the kit and starts dipping his brush in the red paint.

"This had better be good," Brian mutters, though Justin suspects he's quite enjoying it. After all, Brian  _did_  enjoy their last foray into body painting. This is simply a child-friendly adaptation of that. Plus, the sun is out, the day is lovely and warm, and they have Gus all to themselves for a while. That's no small miracle, what with all these other partygoers milling around the backyard. Justin wriggles more snugly into Brian's lap and focuses on carefully stroking the paintbrush over Brian's smooth skin. He takes note of the small smile on Brian's face and enjoys Gus' giggles as their plan comes to fruition.

When at last he's done, Justin grabs the mirror. Concealing the glass from Brian, he teases, "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Brian drawls.

Justin flips the mirror over and reveals the design to Brian. He snorts and shakes his head. "Love hearts."

"Ten of them," Gus imparts happily as he admires the tiny cluster painted on Brian's cheek. "For ten years. And see, we're matching! Like how I have ten stars. Except... wait, Jus isn't matching."

Smiling, Justin leans in and presses his cheek against Brian's. Luckily, the paint is still damp. When he pulls away, he doesn't even have to check the mirror - the paint is slightly sticky against his skin, Brian is smirking, and Gus is cheering happily.

"Now we're all matching," Gus says with a grin. "Okay, I'm gonna go have more punch!"

"Gus," Justin calls, but it's too late to stop him. He's already bolting towards the snack table. Sighing, Justin turns back to Brian. "He's going to crash hard sooner or later."

"Later, by the looks of it." Brian nods towards Gus. Justin glances over his shoulder again; Gus is glugging down the punch like he's severely dehydrated.

"Well, it is his birthday, I suppose." Justin scans the rest of the backyard carefully and then grins at Brian. "You know... I don't see Mel anywhere."

Brian grins back. "Thank fuck for that."

As Justin cozies in closer, nuzzling and kissing Brian's neck, he's thrilled to hear Brian say quietly, "Here's to the last ten years, huh?"

Then he grabs the collar of Justin's shirt and hauls him in for an epic continuation of their make-out session. As Justin is rapidly rendered weak-kneed and light-headed, all he can think is:  _Here's to the next ten, too._


	3. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place soon after the events of _Refuge_ :)

"So... you guys just randomly decided to run off to San Fran?" Gus' brow furrows as he studies Brian intensely. "Like, just out of nowhere, you decide to take a three week trip without telling anyone other than Cynthia?"

Brian forces a smile at his eternally inquisitive son and says, "We decided we needed a break."

"We didn't mean to worry you," Justin adds as he joins them at the dining table. He sets a plate down in front of Gus then ruffles his hair. Gus immediately tries to squirm away; lately, he's been insistently above any and all gestures of affection. The days of hugs, kisses, and cuddles are long gone. Brian doesn't miss the flash of hurt in Justin's eyes. He knows that feeling well himself. As Justin joins him on their side of the table, Brian takes his hand and kisses it gently. Justin smiles at him and holds on tight.

"You worried Cynthia," Gus says, somewhat accusingly. "When I called Kinnetik and asked for you, she told me to wait a minute and she put me on hold. Except she didn't press the right button, so I got to listen to her rant for literally a full minute about how irresponsible the two of you are. Then she picked the phone up and told me that you'd gone away. For three weeks. To the other side of the country."

"Your dad decided to surprise me," Justin lies effortlessly with a placid smile. "We've been meaning to visit again since our honeymoon and I've always wanted to see Yosemite, so we took an impromptu romantic trip."

As Justin continues telling Gus all about their travels, Brian picks up his phone and sets a reminder to buy Cynthia yet another bouquet of flowers. In the two weeks since he returned to work, Cynthia has been awfully tense with him. Brian has tried everything to make it up to her - he's bought her several elaborate floral arrangements, vowed to increase her bonus substantially, and extended her annual leave. Things have been improving slowly. Last night's dinner seemed to accelerate that process; they had a great time, and after walking her home, she hugged him and whispered, "I know why you had to go. Just give a girl some warning next time, okay?"

"Dad?" 

Brian sets his phone down and assumes the same placid smile that Justin is still feigning. "Yes, Sonny Boy?"

Gus rolls his eyes and huffs a little (Brian tries to pretend that it doesn't sting). "Is that all it was? An 'impromptu romantic trip'?"

As they stare at each other, Brian is struck by how much Gus is like him. It's not only that Gus has recently shot up and is now almost as tall as Brian, or that he looks fairly identical to Brian's teenaged self. It's that sharp look in Gus' eye that reads like an accusation and a promise  _(don't think I don't know)._ Brian admires that about his son - the fact that he doesn't take anything for granted, his knack for aggressively interrogating anything and everything. There's something else there, though - a sense of pleading  _(tell me the truth)._ It takes Brian a moment to register the resemblance to Justin, who up until a few weeks ago, wore that very expression for years on end. It's a relief to have finally let him in; Brian wonders what it might be like to let Gus in, too.

But Gus is fifteen. He isn't the kind of fifteen-year-old that Brian was; he's paradoxically older and younger. On the one hand, he's the most precocious kid that Brian has ever met (Justin included). On the other, there's an innocence about him. Gus has never lived in fear of his parents. Gus has never worn that fear on his flesh, in blooms of crimson that decay into black and blue. Gus has never known hatred in his own home.

Though Gus would probably resist, Brian wants to curl up around the kid and keep him sheltered from all of that. He doesn't want Gus knowing a goddamned thing about his paternal grandparents. It wouldn't go down well - Brian knows that for sure. After all, he was there to witness the aftermath of Gus learning the truth about Lindsay's parents and Justin's dad. That was almost two years ago and, still, the memory is fresh in Brian's mind. How Gus yelled and ranted and denounced all of them. How personally he took it all. It must have been hard, being opened up to the reality that not all grandparents are as lovely as his Nannas Deb and Jen. Gus still seems bitter about it all, which is only fair - Lindsay and Justin are still bitter, too, and they've had years to come to terms with it. Brian doesn't want to kick the kid when he's down. He doesn't want to hurt him, not ever.

So he shrugs at Gus and forges something that fuses truth and lie: "Justin deserved it."

Justin deserves the world. Brian has always known it, but the past few weeks have made him realise it all over again. At first, opening up to Justin felt like grabbing at an old wound and tearing it open. It felt like stumbling over, falling down, and lying there, wounded, bleeding, helpless. It rekindled old feelings of fear, feelings which were carved into him long ago and which lurk around, waiting to attack.

And then it felt different. Justin held him, comforted him, looked after him. Brian looked at him, expecting to feel weak, but all he found was a sense of recognition. Justin saw him. Justin was listening. Justin was trying to understand. He was there to help Brian to his feet, stitch the wound back up, and hold him until the pain receded.

The pain hasn't receded just yet, but it's getting there. He has Justin to thank for that. Yep - Justin deserves the world. There's no better way to put it.

After Brian says it, Gus stares at him for a very long while. There's that sense of recognition again; Gus sees him, he's listening, he's trying to understand. Finally, with a small nod, Gus says, "Okay. I'm glad you guys had a good time. Um, anyway, there's... um, there's something I want to talk to you about."

And then Gus changes before their very eyes. He's no longer their precocious, confident son - he's someone else. Someone who is stammering through whatever he's trying to say. Someone with a downward gaze who's picking anxiously at his dessert. Someone who Brian barely recognises at all.

He wonders if this is the moment. Judging by the way Justin is gripping his hand, Brian knows he's not alone. Everyone has been waiting for years for Gus to make his sexual identity known, but the kid is insistently secretive and leaves no clues. Brian is often asked if he knows, as though he's supposed to have some sixth fucking sense where his son's sexuality is concerned. He wishes he did but he's as clueless as everyone else.

"I've been thinking lately," Gus mumbles, whilst shredding his chocolate cake into an inedible mound of crumbs, "About college and all."

How anti-climactic. Justin's grasp on his hand loosens. Brian wonders momentarily if they're ever going to know how Gus identifies, but he pushes aside the disappointment and focuses on reassuring the kid. "The choice is yours, kiddo. Wherever you want to go, we've got you covered."

"Right, well, that's the thing." Gus hesitates, glances at them anxiously, then returns to staring at his demolished cake. Then he mumbles something totally incoherent.

"Gussy," Justin says, and for once Gus doesn't respond by rolling his eyes. "This is all up to you. Whatever choice you make, we'll support you."

Gus gnaws on his lip silently for a while, then speaks up a little more clearly. "I want to go to NYU."

Before Brian can even begin to process this, Gus starts rambling frantically. "I don't even know how that works or anything, but I have the grades and I'm going to talk to the academic adviser about how to apply and how to move here or whatever. That's if you guys even want me here. I would want to live on campus anyway, so you don't have to worry about me bugging you. But I know you're probably used to it just being the two of you here and I don't want to fuck that up, so if you really don't like the idea I'll choose somewhere else. It's only that I like the sound of the creative writing program and I love New York and I miss you guys and I figure moms have had me for all my life so far and maybe it's your turn to see more of me and... um, what do you think?"

Justin nudges Brian under the table, and then they're both out of their chairs and making a beeline towards Gus. He looks quite aghast as they wrap him up in a big embrace, but he doesn't try to squirm away. In fact, Brian is pleased when Gus latches onto them and hugs back. It's been a while since he's felt like Gus needed him; it's nice to return to that and have Gus's arms wound tightly around him.

"We would love for you to live here," Justin gushes, pressing a big kiss to Gus' forehead.

"Really?"

"Are you kidding?" Brian pulls back and studies his son. "Do you really think we wouldn't want you here?"

"I don't know." Gus shrugs and stares at his hands. "I was worried that I'd be stepping on your toes."

"You're not!" Justin sits down next to him and wraps both arms around him tight. "Having you here would be amazing. Gussy, you're going to love it."

"It's always felt like home here," Gus muses, leaning into Justin's embrace a little. "I mean, I think I want to call lots of places home. But it would be nice to start here."

"That sounds great to us," Brian says, smiling adoringly at him. As Gus meets his gaze, the nervousness fades away. He grins at Brian and reaches out, pulling Brian back into their group hug. 

Eventually, Gus stands up and announces, "I'm gonna go Skype with Ruby. Don't tell moms about this, okay? I want to wait until I know more. Then I'll tell them myself."

Then he disappears down the hallway. As soon as they hear his door click shut, Brian and Justin turn to each other with matching grins.

"He wants to move here," Justin says shakily.

"He wants to move here," Brian echoes, laughing. "Don't most kids want to get as far away as possible?"

"Yup. You do know what this means, right?" Justin wraps his arms around Brian's neck and confides softly, "We're the best parents _ever."_

Brian tuts and scolds, "It's not a competition, Sunshine."

"No, of course not," Justin says, blushing a little.

"It's not a competition because we've already won," Brian asserts, coiling his arms around Justin's waist and bringing him in for a big hug. Justin laughs and cheers as Brian spins them both around.

"We're such assholes," Justin laughs.

"Gus' favourite assholes," Brian gloats.

"You're goddamned right we are." Justin beams extra bright and Brian spins him around once more for good measure. 

As Justin laughs and cuddles up to him, Brian kisses his cheek and murmurs, "I couldn't have done this without you."

Justin smiles at him with quiet adoration and says, "Sure you could have."

Brian smiles back and cups Justin's face in his hand. "Well, maybe. But I'm glad I didn't have to." 

As they continue their celebrations, Gus pokes his head around the corner and calls, "Um, dads?"

Brian swivels Justin around so that he's facing Gus as well, but continues to hold him close. "Yes, Sonny Boy?"

Gus sighs a little. "One other thing - uh, no big deal - I'm bisexual. Just so you know or whatever."

Then he disappears again. As his door clicks shut and locks, Justin turns back around and asks slowly, "Did he just... come out?"

"I think so," Brian replies, frowning. After all that waiting, he's not sure what to make of such a casual announcement. 

"Hold on," Justin says, shaking his head. "I'm just gonna..."

He trails off uncertainly, then heads down the hall. Brian follows but keeps his distance. He watches as Justin knocks on Gus' bedroom door with obvious trepidation.

After a spell, Gus unlocks the door and pokes his head out. "Yes, Jus?"

Justin smiles at Gus with great warmth and enthuses, "Thank you for telling us. You know we love you and support you, right?"

"I know," Gus says, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. That brings a smile to Brian's face; it's good to know that the certainty that he lacked as a child isn't at all lacking in Gus' life.

"We were just wondering if you wanted to talk about it?"

Gus frowns. "I told you, I'm talking to Ruby. About actual things that actually matter."

"Your sexuality matters."

"Sure, it matters," Gus says, rolling his eyes. "But it's hardly worthy of a conversation. You might as well ask me to talk about how the sky's blue, or how grass is green, or how you and dad are disgustingly in love with each other. It is what it is. Don't be a drama queen about it, okay?"

Then he shuts the door right in Justin's face and locks it again. Justin looks utterly dumbfounded. Brian walks over to him and wraps an arm around him.

Justin gazes at him blankly. "I guess that's that?" 

Through the door comes a muffled shout of, "Yes, that's that!"

"That's that," Brian repeats, shrugging. He dips his head and nuzzles Justin's neck gently. "How about you and I go and celebrate being great parents?"

Justin nods, links their arms together, and leads Brian towards their room. Another muffled shout sounds: "Don't celebrate too loudly or you might turn me straight! I didn't just come out for you guys to turn me straight, you know."

"We love you, Gussy," Justin calls, laughing and rolling his eyes.

There's a pause and then, with the hint of a smile in his tone and without a scrap of reluctance, Gus calls back, "I love you, too."


	4. Twenty

"Is this seat taken?"

Gus reluctantly tears his attention away from his notebook and stares moodily up at Justin. How typical, for Justin to waltz on in here with a cheerful smile as though nothing is wrong. Steeling himself, Gus scowls at his father and snaps, "That depends. Are you and dad still fighting?"

"Gussy," Justin says, because apparently he's hellbent on pushing his luck, "That was over a week ago. Of course we're not still fighting."

Gus sighs and unlocks his ankles from around Justin's chair. He drops his chin into the palm of his hand and continues scowling as Justin takes his seat. "So you made up?"

"We always make up."

Rolling his eyes, Gus returns to writing in his notebook. He ignores Justin steadfastly for as long as he can; he's not ready to deal with him, not quite yet. 

When he first planned on moving to New York, Gus was riddled with anxious excitement. He had always longed to call the city home and couldn't wait to do so, but that didn't stop him from worrying about the impact it might have on his fathers. He didn't want to infringe on their life together here or become a burden. Fortunately, his dads didn't share those concerns. They were thrilled when he first announced his plans and even more elated when he actually arrived.

Since then, there have been good days and bad days. The good days include their dinners every Tuesday at the apartment, when Jus cooks for them, and their lunches every Friday at Cafeteria, Gus' favourite restaurant in, well, the universe. He likes dropping by for movie nights sometimes and he loves joining Jus on his outings around the city. They meet up at least twice a week and find a spot to work; Jus sketches and Gus writes, typically in blissfully companionable silence.

And then there are bad days. Like the day his big-mouthed father made some totally inappropriate joke about Jus and Aunty Daph having  _sex._ Gus almost threw up in his mouth. He'd always figured that Jus and Daph were essentially siblings, so what the hell were they doing fucking?! It's too sickening for words.

That was only the tip of the iceberg, of course. Now that they see each other all the time, Gus is learning a lot about his fathers. It's a crash-course that he wishes he could figure his way out of, but there seems to be no escape. If only there were an escape - then he wouldn't have to know about Jus 'deflowering' Aunty Daph, as his asshole of a father so repulsively termed it.

He also didn't ever need to know that his dads have broken up. More than once. A  _lot_ more than once. Gus always figured that they were together-forever types, and that they'd been all happily-ever-after since the day he was born. Having that illusion shattered wasn't easy. He still struggles with it sometimes; he looks at them, holding hands and kissing, and wonders how it could ever not look like that. It seems impossible.

The worst by far was last Tuesday, when he arrived early for their weekly dinner. Although he had been informed of their break-ups, Gus hadn't bothered to connect the dots. He hadn't imagined what it might have looked like right before their numerous splits. That afternoon, he walked in and got a full-frontal glimpse of it. Jus was storming around the kitchen, slamming doors violently and yelling. Dad was yelling back twice as loud and, wow, was it ugly. They were like two caged animals, prowling around each other, preparing for a fight to the death. It was ghastly. Gus was so stunned that he dropped his bag and very nearly burst into tears. That stopped them in their tracks - his dads looked utterly mortified at having been caught mid-battle, and they quickly rushed to apologise and explain themselves. Gus wasn't having any of it. He told them to fuck off and stay well away until they'd made it all better. Then he left.

They've been trying to get in touch with him ever since, but he's ignored the avalanche of texts and voicemails. He skipped this week's dinner and only bothered showing up to lunch because he loves this restaurant too much to quit it. He's also a little curious as to whether his dads are okay or not. That fight seemed brutal. It seemed like a break-up kind of fight.

The thought of his fathers splitting makes his heart plummet. That  _can't_ happen.

Eventually, Gus decides that he can't ignore Justin forever. By the time the waiter has been and gone and been again, first taking Justin's drink order and then returning with his glass of wine, Gus is prepared to tentatively offer an olive branch. He closes his notebook and stares evenly at his father. "Are you and dad okay?"

"Of course we're okay," Jus says soothingly. "It was just a silly fight."

"A silly fight?" Gus frowns disbelievingly. "You guys were screaming the whole house down. I don't even want to repeat some of the things I heard you saying! It didn't seem like a 'silly fight'."

Jus raises his eyebrows and laughs a little. "We've had worse."

That makes Gus feel nauseous. How a fight can get worse than that, he has no idea. He wraps his arms around himself, seeking out some small comfort. "You're staying together, right?"

Jus almost starts to laugh again, but then he stops dead and his face falls. "You thought we were breaking up?"

"It's not like it hasn't happened before," Gus says, wrapping his arms tighter. The thought of it makes his insides feel like they're shrivelling up and shredding.

"We are  ** _not_  **breaking up," Jus stresses, his eyes going wide. "Gus, I swear, that's not what that was! We were just being assholes. We have a tendency to do that sometimes."

"How often is 'sometimes'?!"

"Not that often. Not anymore." He moves his chair closer so that he can pat Gus' shoulder. It's then that Gus realises he's trembling a little. He blushes at the realisation; fucking hell, he thought he'd be less of a baby by now. But here he is - trembling and on the verge of tears at the idea of his dads... separating? Divorcing? He hides his face in his hands, just as Jus gently explains, "Sometimes we don't see eye to eye and sometimes we don't communicate as well as we ought to. And because we're both assholes with tempers, things can blow up pretty fast. But we always make it right - always have, always will. We love each other."

Gus drags his hands away from his face and looks at Justin. "I never pictured you guys fighting. Or breaking up. It's really strange. And by 'strange' I mean... awful."

Jus smiles at him, a little sadly, and says softly, "No relationship is ever perfect. And it's not always the same on the inside as what it looks on the outside. Normally that's a good thing - most of the time, people don't see us for what we actually are. With you... well, I guess you've always seen the good parts. I'm sorry that you had to see us at our worst. It won't happen again, okay?"

Though he knows it's unrealistic, Gus takes the opportunity to issue a challenge: "You mean you won't fight again?"

Jus laughs. "No, we'll fight again. It'll probably be a while 'til our next one though, if that's of any comfort. I don't even remember when the one before last was or what it was about. But I do absolutely promise that we'll never do it in front of you again."

"Thank you." Gus grabs his drink and takes a gulp of it. If only it were alcoholic - he could use something to numb himself a little. Though Jus has done a good enough job of reassuring him, his nerves are still frayed from an entire week of angsting about his stupid dads and their stupid fighting. He tries to push those thoughts from his mind and redirects his attention elsewhere. "What do you mean about people not seeing you guys for who you are?"

As Justin shrugs uncomfortably, Gus snipes, "I don't know how it's possible when you're constantly shoving it in everyone's faces."

Apparently, his snarky remark is all that's needed to summon his father. One second, his dad is strutting into the restaurant, and the next, he's simultaneously proving Gus' point and making a valiant attempt at giving new meaning to the word 'overkill'. Gus groans and averts his gaze as his dads start making out in front of  _everyone._ There was once a time when he found this habit of theirs kind of sweet, but the many years of seeing it play out time and time again have wearied him. They're acting like teenagers, for fuck's sakes! It's totally inappropriate for a thirty-seven-year-old and a forty-nine-year-old to be acting like frisky adolescents.

"Dad," Gus warns through clenched teeth. The groping has begun - he can see it out of the corner of his eye, which means that the surrounding tables probably have an eyeful too. "Cut it the fuck out."

"Language," Jus scolds half-heartedly. Gus considers taking offense, but hey - at least if Jus is talking, it means they've stopped making out. Thank God for small miracles.

"Hey, kiddo." His dad manages to untangle himself from Jus long enough to give Gus a kiss and a hug. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too," Gus mumbles, blushing as he stares down at his menu. Isn't he supposed to long for his parents less now that he's technically an adult? How insanely embarrassing. "Maybe I wouldn't have had to miss you if you and Jus weren't fighting like assholes."

"Gus thought we were breaking up," Jus explains, sounding irreparably guilty.

His dad snorts. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Gus mutters, flicking an angry glare his dad's way. "You were both saying some pretty awful stuff."

"We've made up," Jus says earnestly. "I promise, Gussy, everything's okay now."

Gus glances between the two of them. They both nod, then his dad smirks and adds, "We've been making up  _extensively."_

Gus stifles a cry of disgusted outrage. He looks to Jus, hoping that he'll join him in reprimanding his reprehensible father, but Jus merely laughs. Then they start kissing again.

"See?" His dad says gloatingly, his arm wound tightly around Jus' shoulders. "We're all made up."

"I see," Gus mutters, glaring at him. "Can you stop making such a big fucking deal out of it now, so we can order our food?"

His dad shrugs and grabs the menu. They read through them in silence; Gus already knows what he wants, so he pretends to read whilst watching them suspiciously. What's not to see with these two? They're constantly all over each other. With the exception of last Friday, they're always totally loved up. Gus doesn't understand what the hell Justin meant by that.

Once they've ordered, he immediately commences investigating. Gus leans forward and queries, "So what  _did_ you mean, Jus?"

"Yeah,  _Jus,"_ his dad teases wickedly, "What did you mean?"

Jus sighs and says covertly, "I mentioned to Gus that people don't always see us for what we are."

Gus nods and demands, "Yeah, what's that about?"

His dad looks between the two of them, raises his hands, and bows out. "This is all you,  _Jus."_

Jus elbows him. He looks at Gus curiously, like he's trying to figure something out. It reminds Gus of when he was little and prone to asking totally inappropriate questions that were far beyond his comprehension at the time. His dads would always look at him as though they were assessing his maturity, then find some clever way to cut off that line of inquiry. It displeases Gus to be made to feel that way again. He narrows his eyes at Jus and asserts tersely, "I'm  _twenty._ I can  _handle it."_

"It's not about how old you are. It's about whether you can keep this to yourself or not."

"Keep what to myself?"

"This conversation," his dad interjects, eyeing him solemnly. 

"Yeah," Jus agrees. "This stays between the three of us, okay?"

Gus nods. They still seem doubtful, so he nods again and insists, "It stays between the three of us. I promise."

"Okay." Jus leans in secretively, as though there's risk of being overheard. Gus thinks of pointing out that they don't know anybody here, but that would only get in the way of hearing whatever Jus has to say. "Like I said before, relationships aren't always the same on the inside as what they seem on the outside. Most of what matters between us is kind of hidden away from most people... which sometimes leads to them assuming it's not there. Plus, our relationship has never been all that conventional, which means people have trouble understanding it."

Gus peers at the two of them and tries to figure out what Jus might mean. When he comes up empty, he demands, "Give me an example."

Jus smirks a little. "I don't think you're going to like my example."

Gus heaves a sigh and starts preparing himself. "Just get on with it."

"As you wish," Jus laughs. "So... we've always been very  _physical-"_

Gus gags. His dad smirks and plants a big kiss on Jus' cheek.

"-and it's always been right out there for everyone to see. Because of that... as well as other _contributing factors..."_ Jus pauses meaningfully. Gus watches in bewilderment as his dad snickers evilly - he's torn between an innate desire to find out what the fuck that's about and an instinctive knowledge that he shouldn't pursue it. "... well, let's just say that some people got used to the idea that that was the sum of us."

"Do they still think like that?"

Jus shrugs. "No, not really. I mean, they'd have to be pretty goddamn stupid to still think that way, after all this time. I think most people know now that we're serious... I'm just not sure that they actually understand the extent of it. But then again, it's not theirs to understand, so who gives a shit?"

Suddenly, his dad speaks up, sounding almost defensive as he says, "Daphne understands."

Gus glances at his dad. "She does?"

"She does," Jus confirms.

"Because you're always squawking in her ear about it."

Gus looks back at Jus and queries, "You are?"

Jus nods and smiles fondly. "I wouldn't call it 'squawking', but yeah, I tend to confide in her about anything and everything. Daph's always been there for me... for us, actually. I think she's the one person who actually really gets it."

Then he grins and says, "And you, Gussy. You get it."

Gus snorts and refutes, "I couldn't even admit to myself that you guys fought. I bet Daphne's never been that fucking stupid."

"But you know now," his dad argues. "You're not a kid anymore. You know we fight, you know we fuck-"

"Dad!!"

"-you know how much we mean to each other," he finishes, smiling at Gus. "Like Sunshine said - you get it."

"We're really grateful for that," Jus says softly. "We quite like having you and Daph in our corner."

"I'll always be in your corner," Gus vows wholeheartedly. It makes his dads' faces light up. He smiles at them, then warns, "No more fighting, though."

"Unlikely," his dad says, smirking once again. "Giving up fighting would mean giving up make-up sex. That's not going to happen - not on my watch."

 _"Dad!!"_ Gus scowls at him and then at Jus. "Will you please control your husband?"

"That's not possible," Jus laughs. "Sorry, Gussy - he's a lost cause."

Then they start kissing _again._

Gus sighs and returns to his notebook, which is his faithful companion always - but especially during his fathers' frequent public displays of affection. He turns to the back where he keeps several messy pages full of random thoughts and ideas and writes down: _It's not always the same on the inside as what it looks on the outside._ Then next to that, he scrawls:  _You've seen both now - it's not easy, it's not what you expected, but at least you know them better._

He's relieved when the waiter arrives with the food, which means his fathers have to stop embarrassing him. As they eat and chat about the weekend ahead, Gus watches his dads closely and takes it all in. So much has changed since he moved here. The last three years have forced him to grow up faster than ever before, especially where his dads are concerned. Sometimes it feels like a crash-course with no escape, but today it feels different. They used to be his dads, together-forevers and greatloves, infallibly in love with each other. When he found out about their rocky history, he feared that it meant they were less than that. Now he's starting to wonder if maybe it's the other way around. After all, they're still here, still together, still in love with each other - maybe the ugly parts helped them get to this place.

Gus isn't sure. He's still piecing the puzzle together and figuring out how all the break-ups and make-ups fit together. As he assembles it bit by bit, he realises that he's seeing them as something beyond mere parents - lately, they treat him more like a peer, and he's starting to see them as friends as well as fathers. 

A few years ago, he never would have imagined this happening. It's all so strange. Gus isn't sure what to make of it. But then, Toronto was strange when he first moved there, and he grew to love it. His first week of college was so bizarre that it didn't even feel real and he was constantly tempted to make a run for it, but now he couldn't tear himself away if he tried. Truthfully, some of the best things in his life have been the strangest. As he talks and laughs with his dads, he decides that this will be the same: strange, maybe even stranger than strange, but in a good way, or possibly even the very best kind of way.

**The End**


End file.
